I have the right to tell my truth

2017-03-27

0108 My heart has inspired me with the idea to publish my story as my real self, and to tell my truth to the world.

My mind is thinking of ways to prevent me from doing that, sending scenarios that are potentially undesirable, but actually my heart is totally unconcerned by these fear mongering programmed thoughts.

0137 thinking. I suggested to my heart that it smashes my mind. But it immediately made me understand that it can’t, that my mind must heal itself and choose to follow.

0200 Ive been thinking about how my mind was so damaged at the end of year 9, and after that I really struggled with learning and remembering. In year 9 everything was just so easy to learn, and then it was suddenly so difficult. I understand that it couldn’t be any other way, but it has made my whole life so difficult, such a struggle. An internal struggle against self sabotage, against suicide, against harming others. I succeeded, but I’m not free of any of those thoughts. I have moved on and on all my life, never sticking anything out to make a career out of anything. I have never stayed on anywhere. I keep healing and changing and leaving. Always abandoning anything I created.

My whole life has been damaged by that experience. I have no obligation to society at all. I have only an obligation to my heart, and I have the right to tell my truth.