The family I grew up with

I grew up with this stepfamily. I lived with Gus Erna and Sandra in Adelaide until we moved to Melbourne when i was about 4. Then we lived temporarily in inner Melbourne before moving to a house in southeast Melbourne, where Eva and her family lived with us for a time, until they found their own house. Then it was Gus Erna and Sandra until Sandra left home, and many years later I left home.

I refer to them as my stepfamily, although I dont have documentation to prove they are not my real family. I always felt they werent my family and I didn’t belong with them. While at uni, I found some inconsistency with fingerprints that suggested they are not my biological parents. The abuse and programming I suffered are typically experienced by adopted children, not biological children – different programming is given to those who are totally expendable, relative to those who will be expected to carry the abuse to future generations. I like referring to them as my stepfamily.

stepparents – Gus and Erna – now both dead

Gus 1995
Gus 1995
erna 1993
Erna 1993

Gus is from Germany and Erna is from Austria. Both served in WW2 and came to Australia in the 1950s. They never revealed much about their lives before coming to Australia and it remains an unknown to me, other than a couple of war stories and some photos.

Gus in Hitler Youth, 1944


Erna leaving alone for Australia, 1955. Seen off by her parents and daughter Eva.









Gus meeting with some people I dont know, in the Barossa Valley, 1961. I included this picture based only on a feeling that I should. I dont know who those people are, but I guess they may be ‘prominent people of the day’ in South Australia.


In Australia, Gus first worked on the Snowy River project, then later settled in Adelaide, South Australia. Erna claimed to have met Gus while hitch-hiking in Southern Queensland.

During my childhood, Gus was usually working and I didnt really find out what kind of person he was until he retired. Erna was usually at home and literally had no friends of her own, that i was aware of. She socialized with Gus’ friends (all of them alcoholics) and their families, but usually at events like Christmas and Easter. Erna was my main psychological abuser and attempted to control every part of my life.

stepsibling – Sandra

Sandra regularly bullied me at home until she left home when i was about 15. She is 3 years older than me and delighted in my suffering. She became involved with bikies (motorbike gangsters) and later married one. My last contact with her was in 2014, after Erna’s death – to get my name removed from property owned by that family and complete my separation from them. Since then she has occasionally viewed my Linked in profile, but not attempted to contact me. As far as I am aware she is extremely angry with me and wants nothing to do with me – which suits me.

step-half-sibling – Eva Newman

Eva 2005
Eva 2005

Eva was not a big part of my life, and is 22 years older than me. After I left home I was in the same region as her family and then it was the case that she would contact me only when she wanted me to do something for her. While I was living in south east Queensland, she was married to Cliff Newman, a National Party member actively involved with Joh Bjelke-Peterson, a corrupt politician. While Joh was being prosecuted in Brisbane for political corruption, Eva’s younger daughter Petra sometimes drove Joh to his court appearances.


In 2005, Eva contacted me, asking if I would accompany her to visit Erna and Gus. I agreed – At the time, I didnt realize that I could still be influenced and controlled by programming commands, so I felt it was safe to visit them (it wasnt). I havent met Eva in person since 2005, that I am aware of.

Eva’s older daughter Cynthia (3 years older than me), was – until 2003 – my favorite person in the family, because she was not mean to me – as far as i was aware. Yet after I began to recover memories of abuse, I met with Cynthia and Sandra and she participated in Sandra’s interrogative attempts to find out what i had recalled and worked out about my childhood abuse. In 2017, Cynthia attempted to chat with me by Facebook. Cynthia, being the oldest daughter of Erna’s oldest daughter Eva, has the maternal line in the family, and holds the birthright to matriarchal authority. I dont know if she has taken up the role provided by her birthright. However, I feel that her attempt to contact me is a bad sign.