They threatened … “You’re very brave”

It is often said to those speaking out about past abuse, “You’re very brave.” Or something similar. As long as it includes the word “brave”, that’s what matters.

I find it very triggering when I hear it, and I have awareness that it was said to me as a child, and it was something to fear.

In ritual abuse, I have the awareness that saying this is a threat. Its not a compliment. It is saying ‘you are very brave to do or say something that you know you will be punished for’. It implies foreknowledge of the punishment assigned to such a deed. It implies that the act was done in defiance, or because of being naughty. The phrase is code, especially when used on adults. It is designed to trigger silence programming.

So when I hear this said to people speaking out about past abuse, I immediately suspect a ritual abuse source. Its not guaranteed, but it is possible until proven otherwise. I know that some parents that are not involved in ritual abuse, use this phrase in this way, I’ve heard it used scowlingly to small children in public. And some people say this as a compliment, in a tone of voice that matches the meaning. The context exposes the intention and true meaning.

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